dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
