South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
