3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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