i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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