Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So here I am, sexting at work.
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