walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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