So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
