I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
