Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
