wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
