It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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