Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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