Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
