I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
