just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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