so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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