I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize