When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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