Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
