i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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