direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
