The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
