yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
