biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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