He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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