i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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