What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize