i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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