Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize