haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
