My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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