how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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