Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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