Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
