he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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