ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
