I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize