Pants 0. Shit 1.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
