ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
