well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
