Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
