just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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