O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
