That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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