Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
