Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
