I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
