I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
