am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
