Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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