I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
