I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
