Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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