im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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