I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
