I think I won the penis lottery.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize