My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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