I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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