The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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