I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
