At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
