I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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