Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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