I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
